and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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