Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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