That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
