I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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