this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
