don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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