quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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