Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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