do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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