K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
