it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
