i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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