Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
