You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
