we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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