Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
