just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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