You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
