the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
