Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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