I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
