Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
