it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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