Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to cum in my sink.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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