who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
