did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
