I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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