You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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