sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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