My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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