Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
