I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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