we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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