I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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