im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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