I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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