ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
