I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
