you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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