guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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