I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Come see our sink grown plant.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
