Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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