Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
