He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
