Betty ford says i'm here all night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
