I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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