I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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