The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
