Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
