he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
