My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
