That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
