Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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